I hoped I could help a bit. I understand it is very difficult for you currently, getting battered by bad news without a break is hard to endure, but it is important to leave this "hole" where you are in at this moment. To be stubborn and to refuse to break, combined with a goal you want to reach, is a good start.
There will be setbacks, be assured. Shake them off and move on. Nothing remains but to clench you teeth! Go get them, podgie_bear!