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Ike

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Everything posted by Ike

  1. Uh oh, watch out for that . . . Speed bump.
  2. Well, we'll just have to contain the little miscreant in this lovely . . . Glass Mason Jar.
  3. Meh, doesn't look so bad. GL Borg! Hope the grill and kegs survive. - Ike
  4. 9 lbs 19.25" 02:48 a.m. EDT on August 15, 2008 Dad is doing fine (I know everyone was concerned), Mom is a big fan of the epidural and is doing well, Kevin has already figured out how his thumb works.
  5. Sorry, but this woman does not speak English . . .
  6. Knitting, yes. But how will she defend herself from a . . . Would-be Thug with a Baseball Bat?
  7. But you can't get close enough if you have a . . . Tangled Extension Cord.
  8. Then best to just go over with this nice . . . Ladder.
  9. Ooopsie, someone must have forgotten to seal the bag, and now it is being devoured by . . . Ants.
  10. Oh nose! Here come some foreign germs that your beasties are ill equipt to resist . . . Sneeze!
  11. Let's just eliminate some of those extra lines with this lovely . . . Eraser.
  12. Ah, nope, gotta let it rise for a couple of hours. Then turn it over and put it on the cornmeal and it should slide around easily. - Ike
  13. You just need to relax and rid your body of all those toxins with this lovely . . . Hot Tub.
  14. Keep at it Borg. Remember, it is the taste that is important. Once you have the procedure down to get that, you fool around with technique to make it look 'better.' I am much better at getting it round than I used to be. As I previously mentioned, I use frozen white-bread dough, which comes in a log shape. So I microwave it on "defrost" for 3.5 minutes, and if it is still a bit frozen, another minute or so. Then I let it sit for a little while to warm up. Then I moosh the ends together to make it into more of a ball, and eventually flat (think of a log standing on an end and being pushed straight down into the ground and flattened). I often let it sit a little while so that it is nice and pliable and then pinch and stretch it into a circle a little smaller than the stone. Once it is in the desired shape, I put corn meal down on an anti-stick baking sheet and lay it out to rise. The white-bread dough is a perfect size for me, as a crust about the size of the stone comes out nice and thin the way I like it. - Ike
  15. The was not a Top 10 (off by 200MM or so), but it did just edge out Gintukas as the biggest in Uni 9 (by 4.2 MM). Seems like a lucky break for MBJ as all indications are that Igs knew MBJ was online and just screwed up the recall. Oooopsie. Still, a ton-o-profit. The New Top 10 by Mika was at best ~15 MM loss, of course, compared to losing most of 1 BB . . . not so bad. Plus, killing off 102 RIPs is pretty amusing. OTOH, I killed off more RIPs than that . . . but they were mostly mine [/GoGo's]. Well, I left, Master of the Nuts left, Llama left, Cyclops left, and GoGo left . . . and Yaga discontinued fleeting and started mining. So I do not think I can take all of the credit. Uni 9 is also continuing its decline, so a lot less posts by outsiders. - Ike
  16. Thought I would pop by with an update on my latest cases. As luck would have it, the last three cases that have been charged/sentenced were child pornography cases. This depite only working on four child porn cases currently, of some 25 or so cases in total. United States v. Brannon - The first case was a lime-wire case. Lime wire is a peer-to-peer file sharing program (like KaZaa, Napster, etc.) that is used to share files over the Internet. You install the Lime Wire software and it shares a directory on your computer with anyone else who uses Lime Wire. You can type in search terms and the software will find other Lime Wire users who are sharing files with those terms. An undercover agent searching for child pornography typed in various common search terms used in child pornography and located a number of images on a PC in my district. We applied for, and received, a search warrant and conducted a search of the defendant's residence. The defendant, who was eighteen at the time of the search, admitted that he was the owner of the computer and that he had used Lime Wire (and other P2P software) to share child pornography. Numerous images/movies containing child pornography were recovered from his PC. Although he was 18 at the time of the search, he was only 17 at the time the undercover agent downloaded the child pornography from his computer. We do not, absent extraordinary circumstances, charge minors (under 18) with crimes. Given his age and ready admission to the crimes, we decided to charge him only with possession, and not with receipt or distribution -- each of which carry a five-year mandatory minimum prison sentence. Under the federal system, defendants are sentenced based on a set of discretionary sentencing guidelines. The Guidelines take into account the severity of the crime (both the crime generally and specific characteristics of the instant crime) and the defendant's background. In this case, the defendant's Guideline range was 51-63 months (4+ years to 5+ years). Although both the defendant's counsel and I recommended a sentence at the bottom of the Guideline range, the Judge sentenced the defendant to 36 months (3 years). Athough it was about what I expected, the Judge's rationale for departing downward was the age of the defendant and thus the low chance of recidivism, and that he did not have actual contact with minors (something that would have actually resulted in a mandatory minimum of 15 years in prison were it charged). Interestingly, in the case before mine, the same Judge had departed downward for someone with a long criminal history due to his advanced age, which the Judge claimed also made him a low risk of recidivism. Whatever. United States v. King - The next case came to us from another investigation. In the investigation their subject received blank emails from our subject and replied to those blank emails with images of child pornography. It was determined that the defendant was in our district so the case was sent to us. We applied for a search warrant for the defendant's AOL account and found images containing child pornography that the defendant had sent to others. Next, we applied for a search warant for the defendant's home. During the search, the defendant admitted trading child pornography and agents uncovered thousands of images and movies contianing child pornography on the defendants comupter (and 25 harddrives and three thumbdrives, etc.). The defendant pled guilty to one count of distribution of child pornography, with a mandatory minimum of five years in prison. The Guidelines in this case were 87-108 months (7.5 to 9 years). Defense counsel argued for the mandatory minimum (5 years) saying that the defendant was not a pedophile, but merely a compulsive collector, who collected Matchbox cars, Star Wars cards . . . and child pornography. The Judge (different judge this time) sided with the defendant, and sentenced him to five years and no fine -- despite the fact that the probation office determined that he had sufficient money to pay the recommended fine under the Guidelines. The rationale was that there were no aggravating factors in this case -- not sure what such factors would be, as the defendant admitted that the images included pre-pubescent children and sadistic/masochistic actions. Not to mention that the images the defendant possessed included some really horrific stuff. But, as always, at the end of the day I go home and the defendant goes to jail. Hard to argue with that. United States v. Mahoney - My last case is a Google Hello case. Google Hello (which was shutdown in May or June of this year) was a P2P file sharing and chat program. It was much like Yahoo! Messenger, MSN Messenger, or AIM, but did not go through a central server. In this case an undercover agent using Google Hello got into several chat sessions with someone claiming to be a thirty-something woman. The subject sent several images containing child pornography to the undercover. After it was determined that the subject's Google Hello account was accessed from my district, the case was transferred to me. We applied for a search warrant of the defendant's residence, which was executed earlier this year. Child pornography was recovered from the residence. However, the defendant was not home at the time of the search, and denies any wrongdoing. So we indicted him two weeks ago. Perhaps I will end up with a trial this fall. - Ike
  17. Hmmmm, had not checked this in a while. Only posting to make GoGo envious. Is that wrong? - Ike
  18. Happy Birthday Claire! Hope you were able to ditch the kids and get a nice bottle of something . . . if only for a little while.
  19. Baby, baby, baby! Congrats on the little one. Glad that she is healthy. And so cute! Not me, we are having a boy next month. - Ike
  20. I feel your pain Borg. I really do. I had several disasters on the way to getting my pizza to come out consistently good. It is imperitive that you let the dough rise for a few hours and it gets dry on top. Then flip it over (use corn meal on the board to keep it from sticking) and make sure it slides around on the board. Then put on the toppings and put it in the oven. The dried out top keeps it from sticking and you from losing it. - Ike
  21. Best of luck, hope everything turns out OK. Next time, just snort lots of coke and clear out those nasal passages. - Ike
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