Jump to content

Temerity Justice - my new project


Recommended Posts

A novel Steerpike? Or going to be connected to game?

Always liked the word Temerity, heh, remember trying to use it more often after a few Reader's Digest word power sessions

 

:D

 

gogo

Link to comment

It would have helped had I mentioned that in my first post, wouldn't it! At the moment it's going to be a novel. I would like it to be a comic book, but I don't have the drawing skills and don't know anyone who does. At the moment, I have three story lines that could be fleshed out into full novels, though I'm aiming to make them stand alone (where one does reference another, the reference will be explained for those who haven't read it.)

And I share your like of the word temerity. It just doesn't get used often enough!

Edited by Steerpike1
  • Like! 1
Link to comment
  • 2 months later...
I've done it. I've finally gone live with Temerity Justice. At present, I'm waiting for the domain name I purchased to go live (it can take up to 24 hours, apparently), but you can see it already at www.temerityjustice.jimdo.com. It doesn't look pretty at the moment, as I never did succeed in getting an artist to actually draw anything for me. However, as I had been promising to get this live for some time, I have gone with it for now. Hopefully someone will read it and be inspired to draw Temerity.


Now all I need to do is get back to writing the actual stories, rather than researching the creation of a web page.

Link to comment

Hi there. I'm checking it out right now. I'm reading Episode One. It seems pretty solid so far.

There is one passage that I found a bit confusing, however:

Her daughter was still inside the house at this point, playing some silly game with her dolls that she vaguely resented as she worked the fields to provide food for the pair of them. Still, she was safe, and that was the point.

On the first pass, it sounds like her daughter is the one vaguely resenting her dolls. It's a minor fix. May I suggest the following?:

"Her daughter was still inside the house at this point, playing some silly games with her dolls. She vaguely resented that, as she worked the fields to provide for the pair of them, but her daughter was safe and that was the point."

That keeps almost all of your original wording intact. You and I have different writing styles, so I wanted to preserve your flavor as much as possible in my suggestion. But it does clear up a passage that can be confusing to a reader and helps keep the forward momentum of your narrative flowing.

Okay, I'm going back to continue reading. You've got a solid grasp of writing from what I've seen so far.

 

EDIT: Okay, I've checked out the first part. It's 5am here and I haven't slept yet, so I'm probably going to go ahead and do that, but I'll check it out some more tomorrow.

It reads well. You give a lot of good visualization to the scene, so it is easy to draw a picture in my mind of what is going on. The action taking place is clear and concise. You've got some nice touches you put in there as well. The narrative 3rd person introspective moments that you weave in with the more concrete descriptions of things helps give a sense of of connecting the characters to the world they are in.

Edited by Miquin1
  • Like! 1
Link to comment

Thanks for the feedback, Miquin1. I've got to say that you're right about that sentence, I will change it and upload an amended version shortly. It's funny, but I have proof read the text three or four times, and I still seem to have missed that one (or more likely I was reading what I thought was there).

Link to comment

No worries. I'll usually proof my own stuff, but I always like to bring it to someone else anyway. Our minds will sometimes "fill in the blanks" on things we intended to be in there, so we can go over something several times and never notice it.

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...

Episode two, The Noncomformists, has gone live now, which introduces Temerity as a character in her own right (she didn't really put in much of an appearance in episode one).

I'm also preparing to upload some information on one of the regions of the world, the Tannehelm Mountains, where Temerity grows up.

  • Like! 1
Link to comment

Episode three, Lessons Learned, has now gone live. I have also added details of the Tannehelm Mountains to the Perrenia section, as discussed in the section above.

The next flavour text will be about the country of Arrene, which is the first country that Temerity explores when she leaves the Abbey of the Blessed Mechanic.

  • Like! 1
Link to comment

Episode five - The Land Guard has just gone live. This introduces the Land Guard* (naturally), the institution Temerity Justice works for in the first two phases. It's basically an anti-smuggling group, which goes out into the wilderness searching for people bringing in stuff that either should be taxed (alcohol, for example) or should be controlled (firearms, usually). It's a small, underfunded group, so Temerity's abilities with her rifle and her horse are more than welcome. Read it at www.temerityjustice.com.

 

* Actually, Temerity's Father had mentioned these people before, but this time they appear for real.

Edited by Steerpike1
  • Like! 1
Link to comment

Episode six - On the trail of the Hangman has just been published. In this one, Temerity and the rest of Sergeant Higgins' crew set off for the town of Fenton in the Level Fens, to begin the hunt of Cobb the Hangman and his gang. Read it at www.temerityjustice.com.

  • Like! 1
Link to comment

I've just added Episode seven, The Fenton Fugue, to the homepage. In this episode, Temerity and the other Land Guards arrive in Fenton, and begin their investigation into smuggling operations in the area. They also meet the local mayor, Bill Dervis. Read it at www.temerityjustice.com.

  • Like! 1
Link to comment

It might be Boxing Day here, but that doesn't give Temerity Justice the day off! Well, as a follower of the god Mon, she wouldn't know what Christmas is anyway, would she? Episode eight - the Noose Tightens, has just gone live. This sees Temerity, Sergeant Higgins and the two riflemen of the Land Guard head out into the Level Fens to investigate a supposed staging post used by Cobb the Hangman and his gang of miscreants. You can read it at www.temerityjustice.com.

  • Like! 1
Link to comment

And the first episode of 2015 has just been added. Episode nine, Ambuscade has just gone live. As the title suggests, not everything is going to plan for Temerity, Sergeant Higgins and the other Land Guards. Cobb the Hangman seems to be on to them and is determined to get revenge for their actions for far. You can download the episode at www.temerityjustice.com, as well as all the back issues to date.

  • Like! 1
Link to comment

Episode ten, Red Ears, has just gone live. Working alone once more, Temerity follows a trail to the location of one of the Hangman's chief henchmen, nicknamed Red Ears for his habit of cutting his victims ears before he kills them. Naturally, he makes a necklace out of them - nice! You can read it at www.temerityjustice.com.

  • Like! 1
Link to comment

Episode 11 - The Machine has just gone live. This time, Temerity confronts notorious murderer and rapist, the Machine, though no one is sure why he has that nickname. There's also an alternative version of this episode, which will appear in the Bonus Temerity section. I had two different versions of the events in this episode,, and wrote both up before opting for which one would appear. Read it at www.temerityjustice.com.

  • Like! 1
Link to comment

Episode 14, Payback has just gone live. With the Hangman dealt with, and his nefarious scheme at an end, Temerity helps sort out things in Fenton before reporting back to Arrene to report in with the Land Guard. Read it at www.temerityjustice.com.

That's the end of Phase 1, Temerity Justice and Cobb the Hangman. Phase two, Temerity Justice love Kyle begins next Friday

  • Like! 1
Link to comment

The first episode of Temerity Justice loves Kyle has just gone live. This sees Temerity setting off back towards the foothills of the Tannehelm Mountains, to link up with a fellow sergeant of the Land Guard who is investigating smuggling out there. As she goes, the weather starts to take a turn for the worse. You can read it at www.temerityjustice.com.

Link to comment

Episode 2, In Search of Kyle Kenton, has now gone live. Having made it to Hazelmere, Temerity sets off in search of her new partner, Sergeant Kyle Kenton. He's been operating up in the foothills for a while, and should know the lay of the land. Read it at www.temerityjustice.com.

Link to comment

Episode three - Cabin Fever has just gone live. The weather closes in around the town of Hazelmere, keeping the residents inside for some time. A good time to be running a bar with plentiful supplies, not a good time to be a Land Guard with ne'erdowells to track down. Read it at www.temerityjustice.com.

Link to comment

Episode four - A few questions asked, has just gone live. Once the weather breaks, Temerity and Kyle head out to begin investigations into smuggling and moonshining operations in and around town. You can read it at www.temerityjustice.com.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...
Please Sign In or Sign Up