Sad day :(

[Obsession 0]

Today's a sad day for me.. Broke up whit my girlfriend as she moved about 800km away from here to lapland. 1year and 9 months of good and bad times are now officially over. We didn't have any real big problems, but our future plans (marriage, children, how to live .etc) were so different, so we decided to brake up as it would have been even harder to do so later.. few years from now. Also the distance would have been huge problem, but in first place she only was thinking of living maybe month or two there, so few months away is far better than completely away. We still try to stay friends and I hope we will be able to.

 

Still, I know, we both will be thinking was this just a mistake as everyhing was working just fine. Was the other one "the one who got away". Time will tell. I hope we don't end up in away that other one finds someone really special and other one not..

 

Anyone got tips what would help.. other than box of tissues and big box of chocolate ice cream.

[stubbie 21]

Anyone got tips what would help.. other than box of tissues and big box of chocolate ice cream.

 

If you end up with too much of that ice cream I could take some of that off your hands.

 

It must be a bad time of the year......there is a similar crisis happening over at DA with relationships.

 

I don't have any magical cures or even advice which is of any great help.

 

But I will say what I know from experience;

 

You are only 22. You have many, many years in front of you before you need to be in a relationship where marriage and kids become a necessity.

Enjoy your new found single freedom. If this was your first love then it will hurt and will take time to heal.

If its your second or third relationship then you know there is life after breakups.

Concentrate on work and going out and partying. ENJOY this stage of your life.

Its early years and hopefully you will have many more relationships before you find miss right.

 

Go out and buy a new set of clothes. Get a new haircut. Go to a disco (or whatever those places are called these days) and dance with as many girls as you can on the night.

Be daring and ask everyone of them for their phone number and then ring them and chat.

 

Just don't sit around moping......you are way too young to waste your life just yet. You will have plenty of time to do that when your family puts you into a retirement home

 

stubbs

[Timotheus 416]

*Agrees with Stubbie

 

Sure it will be hard the first week(s), but you'll get used to it pretty quickly.

Don't party too hard now though, it might even end your friendship with her, and I assume you wouldn't want that. I managed to stay really close friends with an ex of mine, our relationship evolved during our friendship and it went back to being friends again afterwards, so there's a future Just make sure you try to get your mind off' things, it will help you a lot.

 

Best of luck with the situation now, obs, and kill some sakkaras when you need to let off some steam

[Arilaftia 0]

Big hugs Obs.

I cant give alot of insight on this atm being a similar situation here (So may be peeking for advise as well ) But Im sending hugs and sometimes those are the best thing you can get anytime.

[Obsession 0]

Stubbie, really good advice and that's what I was planning to do anyways. It's just the feeling after break up, that will you ever find the one or even a new one.. but maybe I shouldn't bother to think about it and focus on something else. I know this feeling will get better after a while. She wasn't my first love.. but first one I lived whit allmost the whole time. Still lots of stuff here she forgot to pack before she left.

 

Timo, yeah I get that not to party too hard part, especially as she was working on a local bar where all the younger people goes to have fun, so all the co-workers know me and they surely tell her if I'm partying there all the time whit different girls. But good thing I don't need to go to that bar everytime.

 

Ari, sad to hear and to you too..

Edited September 16, 2008 by Obsession

[Genenut 8]

:agree: Stubbie's advice is the best. Just get back out there,even if its only with friends to have fun rather than "dating". moping only makes the tissue making industry happy.. but if you have extra choc ice cream I will willingly take some off your hands...

[gogoblender 3,070]

Ob, I'm really sorry this has happened. I wish I had more to offer in ways of how to make it feel better, but I don't. The one time I had a breakup that meant something to me really took a lot out of me. A friend then helped out by saying that he knew that the thing that hurts the most is how much we miss them. It seemed like I was getting pangs of loneliness every few minutes that almost seemed to drop me. It hurt that much, but now that I look back, I realize it just meant that much. You're distraught and I absolutely know that you're thinking it may never be possible to love like that again, to feel like you're a part of something bigger than we can ever be on our own. I remember harassing one of my closest friends, asking him over and over... Will something come up that can be that good? And him, who had had his heart broken a few years earlier and then met the woman of his dreams who he's still with today said, yes...and better. Different, but better. I think for the longest time I was thinking to myself that nothing could be better, and that this loss was going to be forever. But as the days, then weeks go by, you start feeling like things are going to be okay. And if now, it doesn't feel like it can get better, know that it will. It took you guys that long to become a part of each other's hearts. If it meant that much, if things were that great, it could take a good bit of time to fill up that part of your heart that your girl friend helped fill up.

 

Advice then?

 

Look for happy days, they're there. The sun's going to come out as often as before, and if anything, your friends will come to mean more to you now than ever before. You'll start feeling better soon, we humans are tough. We're made to give a lot, but we can take a lot too.

 

And of course, there's always us here, listening, and ready to lend an ear.

 

Keep safe

 

 

gogo

[trd 0]

not to seem insensitive, but old cowboy saying is along the lines that 'if you get bucked off a bronco best thing is to get right back on one'. can apply to about any situation, metaphorically of course.

Edited September 22, 2008 by trd

[cyclops 15]

I have 2 advise which are quite different from each other but could have the same result:

 

1. There is a song with the lyrics "if you really love her you've got to set her free and if she returns in time I know she's mine".

 

If self explanatory and it involves a lot of faith on your part.

 

2. Try a long distance relationship. I know a lot of people don't believe in this but when my wife was still my girlfriend this is exactly what happened to us. We live 900 km apart and only see each other 2-3 times a year but we managed. With todays modern age if is quite easy to do it. (call on the phone, chat, web cam, etc). We both believe in destiny that no matter how far you are from each other if it is your destiny to be together then you will be together in the end come what may. Sounds like a love story but been there done that!!

[Obsession 0]

Well, 2 weeks has passed and allready found two girls that are very interested in me and going see if either one would make a good girlfriend or atleast friend (you can never have those too many). Other one lives about 161km from here so it would be a long distance relationship, if she turns out to be my next gf like you suggested cyclops

[OuttaTown 0]

hope you are not as sad as the moment you wrote that...but everyone has their own fights.

[stargazer 0]

Sorry to hear of your loss Obsession, but as others have said.... things will get better, just take your time.

 

Stargazer

[Obsession 0]

hope you are not as sad as the moment you wrote that...but everyone has their own fights.

nah.. I'm okey whit it allready. The first week was worse, but after that it's been easier.

[Arilaftia 0]

[Obsession 0]

ok.. now it's yet another sad day. Today came from work I found my cat dead on my bed it just brings just so many questions.. like would it be still alive if I miss'd work and stayed home or would it been even worse to see it die in front of my eyes as vet opens 2h after my work starts? If the cat would be still be alive while getting to the vet, could they done anything to save it? Or was it my fault I even took it to the doctor in the first place and then whitout knowing let him kill my cat whit his medicine and treatment, as before I took it to vet, it was fine.. smal bite wound on the side (my other cat did that), but nothing else mattered.

 

Worst thing in all this is my mother just put to sleep our old cats that we had over 14-15years just like week a go or so.. they were old and sick, so I think it was better for them, but loosing now a young cat for something so stupid like human error.. it just makes me mad and sad. So 3 cats lost in a week.. what a week.. loved those cats very much and it feels like I just lost a three family members in short period of time.

 

I hope I don't need to start another sad day-post for a long time..

 

ps. Why can't I edit my first post anymore.. would have changed Topic Description to fit better.. this was not a day that had to happen.

 

post scriptum X 2. and nobody cares.. like I thought so

Edited November 5, 2008 by Obsession

[fRACTAL 0]

ok.. now it's yet another sad day. Today came from work I found my cat dead on my bed it just brings just so many questions.. like would it be still alive if I miss'd work and stayed home or would it been even worse to see it die in front of my eyes as vet opens 2h after my work starts? If the cat would be still be alive while getting to the vet, could they done anything to save it? Or was it my fault I even took it to the doctor in the first place and then whitout knowing let him kill my cat whit his medicine and treatment, as before I took it to vet, it was fine.. smal bite wound on the side (my other cat did that), but nothing else mattered.

 

Worst thing in all this is my mother just put to sleep our old cats that we had over 14-15years just like week a go or so.. they were old and sick, so I think it was better for them, but loosing now a young cat for something so stupid like human error.. it just makes me mad and sad. So 3 cats lost in a week.. what a week.. loved those cats very much and it feels like I just lost a three family members in short period of time.

 

I hope I don't need to start another sad day-post for a long time..

 

ps. Why can't I edit my first post anymore.. would have changed Topic Description to fit better.. this was not a day that had to happen.

 

post scriptum X 2. and nobody cares.. like I thought so

And what do you mean nobody cares

Sorry about your cat(s) dude, its always sad to lose a friend even if its feline

I hope it wasnt something so stupid as human error

~Tim

[stargazer 0]

So sorry for your loss. Hope it wasn't do to vet error.

The young one might have had something unknown wrong with it.

 

Stargazer

[Obsession 0]

And what do you mean nobody cares

that's how I felt yesterday.. took some beer and tried to drown my sorrow. Good thing my ex-girlfriend kind of understanded what I felt as they were our cats. Last night I may have been bit drunk when I posted that.. felt that way even tho friends tried to help and ask how I feel and listen to my problems.. now I can see that, yesterday I didn't. It's hard to see what happens around you when you are angry, sad and been drinking some.

 

Talked to the vet today and he was sorry about my loss and was offering half price examination, but I felt it was not needed as it won't bring my cat back. He said it could be a organ failior.. possibly heart, liver or kidney problems and even some sort of tumor was one of what he suspected. There's nothing I can do about it anymore, so I hope it didn't have much pain when the time came. Sad thing, but the healing will start today. I'll never forget that cat. Just have to think all the good memories and hope my other cat will have a long and healthy life.

[Genenut 8]

sorry I didnt see your post last night. I've lost 2 in the last 5 years (one at age 12 and one at age 17) so I know what you are going through.

[Schot 407]

Oh Obsession. I'm so sorry that you lost your little one.

 

It must have been terribly upsetting for you to come home to your cat passed away. I can't imagine. I can relate to what you say about feeling like you lost a family member and for people who hold their pets in as much regard as human life it can hurt a lot to loose one.

 

I feel for you buddy.

[Obsession 0]

Yeah, it was big shock.. today planning to build some sort of gravestone this evening when my ex-gf comes to my place. Allready shaped cat figure out of wood at work and now planning to put some orange texture over it (similar what they use on pooltables and poker tables, don't know what it's called) and print his picture into it and wrap it up whit plasticwrap (is it even a word? ..oh well it's the closest I can think of)

 

adding a picture later how it came out..

[FrostElfGuard 9]

Well. I'm very late to find this thread.

 

Sorry for your losses.

 

I too had a cat who had been bitten. I too took him to the vet. The vet recommended the cat stay overnight so they could drain the abcess. The cat had been bitten through the paw by a neighbour alpha cat. My cat contracted distemper from that visit. He died overnight the next night. My Dad buried him before I woke up.

 

Your cat loved you, you did your best to take care of him/her. That's all anyone can ask of you. Your best.

 

Hope this doesn't open old wounds... instead provides you with a bit of soul-balm.