Bizarre incidents/Epic fails while dating

[Gilberticus 374]

I figured that the dating category would be common grounds for most of us. Now, some of us on here have been married for a long time, but I thought I might be able to drum up at least a few good-natured laughs with this topic. I don't have many bizarre incidents that fall in the PG rating category, but I have one clean story that falls in the "are you serious" category.

 

There was a sociology major I met on campus who seemed to be a lot like me : a good ole, all-American gal who see to have enough quirks to be interesting, but not enough to be a "way out there", bizarre Lady Gaga type. After several of my standard hookah lounge dates, I was starting to really like this girl. I'll stop here to explain something: I don't do the traditional "dinner and a movie" date, not in the beginning. Some gals are nervous and self conscious about eating in front of a guy they just met, and as far as the movie, I've always considered the first date or two to be the interview process. How can you talk and get to know each other in a dark environment where you can't talk? So that rules out dinner and a movie, but what do you fill it with? You need an environment that's public enough for safety's sake, yet private enough to where you can talk without feeling like everyone is breathing down your neck and eavesdropping. That is where the hookah lounge comes into play. Hookah lounges are public, yet usually have ambient music at just the right volume: soft enough to where you can speak without shouting, yet loud enough not to hear the people next to you talking. Plus, hookah lounges are the most chill places I've ever discovered. Plus, it seems like even people who are allergic to smoke don't seem to be bothered by hookah smoke. Heck, I've taken gals there who hate smoking, and even they've seemed to enjoy smoking shisha, it tastes just like candy.

 

Anyway, the woman and I seemed comfortable enough with each other to sit in a dark movie theater and hold hands and all the fun stuff that goes with it. After I dropped her off at her home, she text me to let me know that she left something under my passenger seat for me. I promise, this is PG. That something was a manilla envelope with like a 30 page computer print off of how we were going to spend the rest of our lives together. I mean EVERYTHING was on it; where we were to live, what my profession was going to be, names for kids, number and types of house pets we were to have, pictures of how I was going to style my goatee and hair, even a blueprint of our home. After my initial, knee jerk reaction, I thought "OK, this gal isn't like that, plus who does something like this after like the fifth date?" I told myself that this had to be some type of sociology project or social experiment. I mean, come on, this woman isn't like that, No one is like that after five dates. So I read her proposal and altered it, based on what I'd want when I was ready to settle down. I handed it back to her a few days later, and she freaked out, I mean totally lost it; "This wasn't a proposal, this was a command, this is how our future with each other WILL BE". And thus concludes my most bizarre, PG rated dating story, anybody else got one?

Edited October 29, 2013 by Gilberticus

[masteff 64]

That beats my story about the woman who brought her infant to the date. Unfortunately instead of being cute, the kid spit up milk the whole time. (Oh and she knew someone I knew in school and he was a loser so I, unfairly or not, held her guilty by association.)

[wolfie2kX 528]

By the Gods! I hope you had the sense to run, run for the hills...

 

Commands..? WTH?

 

This is the sort of thing to expect maybe once you drop to your knee and propose. And a smart woman will do this sort of thing using subtle hints.. But on the 5th date..? Putting the proverbial cart before the horse, if you ask me. Sounds to me like she's clueless and insensitive to people in general.

 

Hopefully one day, she will realize this and learn to compromise or maybe she'll find some guy who is mentally weak and obedient enough to put up with her crap. Gotta wonder what she would do if somehow that job she had lined up for you didn't quite pan out. What if you didn't get it?

 

My dating history... Well.. Let's just say nothing I got comes even within the ballpark. Certainly nothing worth repeating.

[Delta! 985]

I've never had such a terrible experience, but the worst one for me was a guy I dated a little more than a year ago. Went on our first date for a drink(nothing alcoholic) and walked around a casino/entertainment "world" and talked. He then suggested we go to the waterfront in Cape Town, so we walked around there and talked some more, a few bi ships and some very fancy private yachts where docked. Later I dropped him at his place and went home by myself. It was a good evening. Just before I got home he sent me a msg saying how he really loves me and can't wait for our lives to be spent together... Say what?!? I was a little freaked out, and told him it is very soon to say "I love you". Went on a few more dates and then he wanted us to move in together all of a sudden. That was when I told him sorry, but it is over between us, we have only known each other for 6 weeks and you are moving way to quickly...

 

Delta!

[Gilberticus 374]

I didn't run to the hills, but that's one of my favorite Iron Maiden songs We were in college, I saw her every day. No, that story played out differently. She kept nagging and texting and slipping notes under my dorm room door. I tried every possible way I could think of to tell her to calm down a little. One day, she caught me in a bad day in the common area by the library, and I did something that was the antithesis of my nature: I opened my eyes as wide as I could, flared my nostrils, took off my shirt, flexed my chest, and snarled "How can you, a 5 foot nothing, 100 pound nothing, lipstick cuddle bunny command ME? There is one group of people on this planet that I've ever taken orders and commands from, and you lack the necessary collar device to denote your Officer status. Until the day comes when they pin butter bars on you, recognize and respect my authority". Dude, did she stand down with a quickness! But something unexpected happened; all the teenie boppers flocked to me after that. Had I caused a scene like that when I was a teen, I would have freaked all the girls out, but doing it at 30 made the teens swoon. I guess there's a few psychological explanations for this but I won't lie, I didn't care. The only thought I had at the time about it was "dude, I'm getting hotter teens at 30 than when I was a teen myself!" Yes, college was glorious for this ole boy, I'll tell you what! Oh, and Masteff, I had a few dates like that, those are bad news, brother. Delta, I've heard a lot of stories the last few years from my single friends, younger cousins, and my ex roommate and his boyfriend, and I'll tell ya what, people the world over seem to be in a big dang hurry to fall in love and tie the knot. when I lived at the apartment, some dude came looking for my roommate. Seemed like a good guy, so I had a few beers with him. He talked all night about how he and my roommate were soul mates. My roommate didn't come home that night, but I told him the next day "Dude, this guy has it bad for you, boss" and he tells me "we talked for a total of three minutes on campus last week". I set up one of those online dating site deals for a friend of mine, and all these ads were like "I don't play games, don't respond unless you're ready for a lifelong commitment". What the heck, how's a fella supposed to know if you're "the one" before he's even met you? So, I've come to the conclusion that one of two things are happening: a) the whole world has watched one too many love at first sight movies, or b) the whole world minus me has developed amazingly powerful clairvoyance. If it's the first one, dudes, chill out, watch something else. Netflix has both the VHS movies out now, and if it's the second one, hook a dude up, I want clairvoyance too! I'm getting married next year, but I could use clairvoyance in a whole variety of aspects in my life

[chattius 2,522]

When you were 17, did you ever asked a girl for a dance event and when ringing at her door there is a big man opening it: wielding a bloody axe in his hand and wearing a blood smeared apron? Then a girl is screaming...

Happened 2 years ago when I butchered a boar and my then 16 year old daughter noticed that her shoes fall prey to a wild animal called dog. Wished I had a camera at this moment... He turned white in the fraction of a second.

[Delta! 985]

When you were 17, did you ever asked a girl for a dance event and when ringing at her door there is a big man opening it: wielding a bloody axe in his hand and wearing a blood smeared apron? Then a girl is screaming...

Happened 2 years ago when I butchered a boar and my then 16 year old daughter noticed that her shoes fall prey to a wild animal called dog. Wished I had a camera at this moment... He turned white in the fraction of a second.

 

 

Hahaha, that had to be very funny... not really sure what I would've done had I rang the bell and came face to face with that sight.

Delta!

[wolfie2kX 528]

When you were 17, did you ever asked a girl for a dance event and when ringing at her door there is a big man opening it: wielding a bloody axe in his hand and wearing a blood smeared apron? Then a girl is screaming...

Happened 2 years ago when I butchered a boar and my then 16 year old daughter noticed that her shoes fall prey to a wild animal called dog. Wished I had a camera at this moment... He turned white in the fraction of a second.

 

You know, there's numerous gags in TV and film of a young man coming to pick up his date and confronting her dad... BUT this one takes the cake!

 

I'll wager he needed a change of underwear and any improper moves he might have planned for your daughter were immediately forgotten!

[chattius 2,522]

When the door rang she said she wasn't ready because she was searching one shoe. Short befor I was at the door I asked upstairs if she found him and she yelled back no when I already opened. Our entry hall was a century ago a stall with a high ceiling. One wall is build into the hill at the house. The hill has cold storage rooms dug in which are connected to the hall. So I often build the tripod for slaughtering just in the hall if it are smaller animals like a 40 pound young boar.

 

Don't know how it is at other countries, here people aged 15/16 visit a dance school to learn classic dances. It was her dance partner at the school and I never saw him again, he lived opposite direction of the district capital where the dance school is.

 

The main reason he chosed him was that he was the only one who wasn't smaller as she.