Cat conundrum

[Llama8 8]

I'll start from the (very) beginning to give the context & ask my question at the end.

 

A bit after my wife & I got married (Sept 01) we bought a pair of kittens (Smokie & Kipper), we loved them lots & they very rapidly became part of the family. Smokie became "my" cat (she loved being picked up & having her tummy stroked & she used to sit on my CRT monitor while I was playing on my PC & either help me kill the nasty little monsters, or just bask in the warmth), while Kipper became my wife's cat (Kipper used to sit with my wife while she was reading & wrap herself round my wife's hand).

 

After ~2 years Smokie died (there may even be a thread about it on here somewhere, but it was due to internal haemoraging) & we got another kitten (Gizmo), this turned out to be a bad idea as Kipper didn't want to share her house with another cat & persecuted Gizmo while she was growing up (though they did kinda start to get along with each other after a while), as a result Gizmo is now a "scared-y cat" & runs from most things, including me most of the time, though she does sometimes come & sit on my lap in the evenings while I'm playing on my PC. ~2 years after Smokie died, Kipper died as well (kidney stones in both of her kidneys, preventing an operation), we thought that getting another kitten would be a very bad idea, as Gizmo would probably persecute it mercilessly, so we decided to re-home a cat from our local(ish) cat sanctuary. This is how we came by Sweep (she had very long fur & would sweep her tail around a lot), needless to say, Sweep & Gizmo didn't get along & Gizmo forced Sweep out, so we decided that as Sweep deserved a better life than this that we returned her to the cat sanctuary (she was a very nice cat & I'm sure she would have found a nice home).

 

And this is where we are now, ~7 years after we first bought Smokie & Kipper (best-est cats ever). My wife doesn't like Gizmo (& the feeling's mutual), Gizmo is a bit of a temperamental cat who likes to be stroked on her terms, if she doesn't like being stroked, she'll take a swipe at you after giving a warning miaow/growl, if you continue to push it, she'll get more serious about telling you to #### off! She hasn't done anything to either of the boys yet & I don't think she will unless they corner her (and we've been telling him not to chase after her, so I don't think we'll be in the situation where she does take a swipe at him, or bites him or anything).

 

My dilema is that I'm not sure if she's happy or not, or whether she'd be happier with another family (without kids). But when I think of sending her to be re-homed, I feel like I'm failing a part of my family (as she is to me, even if my wife doesn't like her), but am I keeping her because I don't want to feel that I've failed her or because I believe that she'll have the best life with us? In addition to this, I don't think I want to be without cat(s), after having cats for the past ~7 years, but I don't want to "get rid" of Gizmo & replace her with a "nicer" cat as that would make me feel like a really bad person. And even though Gizmo is afraid of Teddy, he loves her & only wants to stroke her.

 

So, what to do?

[Erling 3]

ohhh, I know this kinda problems...ish. after having pets over a long period you cant remember how it was without one and if you lose it it will be a huge 'gap' like feeling for everybody. (for me anyway)

 

well maybe Gizmo isnt very happy but I do not think she will be happier by comming to an alien plae noe.. after living with you and yours for so long. about kids I think she mightplace herself over them in the family rank. and that is a problem, she thinks she has been there longer and concider herself above them.. maybe? and if she dislikes your wife aswell she might concider the ranks

-Llama leader of the pack ^^

-Llama's cat, do whatever she wants

-Llama's wify

-Llama babies

 

 

this is a speculation, myself I have a dog.. (wich is a ''replacement'' of a dead one wich left a gap)

 

...just speculation

[Ike 1]

Hmmmm, tricky. Not having any emotional attachment, it is easy for me to say that you may be better off finding a good home for current cat and getting new cat(s). As a general rule, you want to get litter mates if you can, and male cats tend to be a bit friendlier than female cats. Not all cats have problems with other cats 'invading' their territory, but it seems like yours have. I would take seriously that your wife does not 'like' the current cat, just as I am sure she takes seriously that you do. I think that should be a consideration, and that you would be better off getting a couple of new cats that get along better. It is hard to tell if the current cat is "happy" or would be more or less happy elsewhere. Perhaps your house has bad associations due to prior cat altercations, and a new place would be better. Perhaps the opposite. It is hard to know. But I think if current cat goes to a good home, she will quite possibly do very well there. Cats are pretty adaptable. But you should also get some benefit from the arrangement, so get cats that you enjoy more.

 

Just some thoughts.

 

- Ike

[Spock 271]

To me, I.e., personal opinion not supported by any quantifiable data, it seems logical to make the situation as tenable as possible for all concerned. I think your happiness, your wife's peace of mind, and your child's improved safety far outweigh any considerations concerning the cat. The cat doesn't seem to want to fit in, the cat should go.

 

I would also recommend waiting at least 6 months before getting any additional pets as that will both give you time to get over the "loss" of your current cat and help you decide if you want new ones at all. Losing a loved pet can be almost as hard as losing a child. In this case, it may not be as hard because the cat itself has caused alienation and you are just concerned with its wellbeing.

 

What you need to concentrate on is your and your family's wellbeing.

[Schot 407]

Tough one Llama. I can relate being that there has always been a cat in my life from day one. To me, adopting a cat is taking responsibility for a life which makes for some hard decision making. But cats can be trained. I'm sure every cat owner has gone through the phase of having to teach their cat not to jump on the counter or table. Training a behavior is much more complex I would guess.

 

Has she been "fixed"? Having Gizmo spayed would definitely calm her down. Do you give her cat-nip? Nasty cat drug. I let my present cat have it a few times and although it seemed fun at first I found that it left a negative impression on her behaviour long after she had played with the cat-nip. Never gave it to her again... Kill her with kindness? Maybe on good days where there are no Gizmo outbursts you could give her a cat treat at the end of the day. Might even be better coming from your wife.

 

I think the hardest thing I trained my cat to allow is holding her craddled in my arms. Not that I've read it anywhere but I'm fairly certain that being off the ground and belly up is a big cat no-no. It was for my cat! It took me probably years of very short cradling durations and loads of pet talking to get her to the point she's at now. She basically allows me to. She just rolls her eyes, plants her paws on my cheek, tilts her head away from me and waits. It's selfish I know, hehe.

 

Here's an article I just came across which has some interesting points about aggressive cats Llama.

Dealing With Aggressive Behavior In Your Cat

 

What I found most interesting in that article is the mention of Pheromone. A topical treatment that reduces aggression. Popularly sold as Feliway.

 

I'd say try to teach her that the aggression isn't welcome without the use of aggressive teaching. Hard for me to have an opinion on this one though. I've been lucky enough to not have to deal with it.

[Genenut 8]

All of my cats have been shelter cats or other types of adoptions...

 

We had a cat we rescued while over in japan. she was living on the streets and had been abused but the way it reacted to humans and a little box tell us it wasnt a feral cat to start. She had an injured front paw that eventually end up being amputated above the "elbow" (was broken before we found her and never set or cared for so became useless) but that didnt stop her from things like killing a pigeon on her own (the pigeon was almoast as big as her). But she had spent just a little too much time on the street or outside. She tended to "mark" things and people... especially when she didnt get enough attention or though she wasnt the alpha kitty in the house (we had 2 other cats at the time). We eventually had to find her a new place to live as our eldest was a toddler and couldnt take the chance of him getting into the puddles or her marking something like a pacifier and we had exhausted our options to train her out of the habit. We found a family member who had a barn and she (last we knew) was living out her days as queen of the barn quite happily...

 

At 7 years of age finding another home for your cat may not be easy for any shelter as most want kittens (or as near as makes no difference). I dont know how they are run over there but over here a large majority are kill shelters meaning if no placement within a certain time frame they euthanize the cat (usually 30 days or less) so I hate having to place a cat back with a shelter if at all possible.

 

In your situation I might let things go as they are right now BUT the first time the cat uses its claws on Teddy or his brother I think the cat should find somewhere else to live. Most cats (and we have had our share of personalities) will hide rather than deal with a toddler and run when given the chance than strike back but this cat seems a tad bit aggressive and may choose to strike rather than hide or run... thats the line in our house for if a cat stays or goes , the safety of the rest of the inhabitants. Our current cat while she sees no problem using claws on the adults when we upset her will usually hide, then run , then strike with no claws first and only use claws on a "kitten" (any young child) when the other options havent worked and shes being hurt (fur pulled, tail yanked, etc)

 

I wouldnt bring a cat younger than 12-15 weeks into the house while the current one lives there. They need to be big enough to defend themselves against an adult cat and 6-8 week is too small but I think maybe it might be best to see how things go with this cat and the kids without the added stress of a new cat for a while. If you do end up placing it with a shelter then find litter mates or cats in the shelter that are known to get along with other cats. Our local shelter does a personality profile and will let potential adopters know if the animal gets along with other animals (cats and dogs) and children or if they need to live in a home with none of that.

 

Have you tried giving yor cat large quanities of catnip? Sometimes being stoned regularly can make them freindlier *g* .... and it helps sometimes with stress (we tend to give our cat a "hit" during times when things are changing as she doesnt like her schedule disrupted... putting the tree up and presents is a disruption so she has been getting the nip reguarly this month *g*)

 

*hugs* good luck

[EvilMale 7]

My wife and I, Have had several cats over the past few yrs and, and like most have posted here an aggressive cat really has no place in the house. your families well being before that of an animal. Yes I know it sounds cold hearted, and that some emotional attachment has been made. And I would tend to agree with Gene on a lot of what she has said. cats tend to run and hide from toddlers rather than use the claws on them unless your my 3 yr old and she happens to catch one of the cats most of the time *g*. But even then I haven't really seen a major incident of aggressiveness even after she has the cat and mauls it to pieces. My general experience with cats are this they are mainly mild mannered and all cats can be what I like to call an "I'll decide if" now I know some cat's will tend to love and beg for attention. But by nature they are shy and docile which is where the "I'll decide" attitude comes from.

now we have been fortunate to have several cats that were friendly and loving. But at time show this attitude. And also like was mentioned before his/her general dis-trust could stem from the fact of the happenings of the previous cats. and how he/she was treated. Even with adult cats you can still build trust with them by I.e. slow interactions on her terms and then progressing to treats and other forms of affection.

 

Cheers

EM