Ongoing Adventures of "Teh Newb" (EVEOnline story)

[Cygnus 0]

Three starships are poised near an acceleration gate, their pilots making last minute preparations before launching into the dangerous unknown.

 

“So what is the assignment again?” Shemar asked.

 

“Agent wants us to catch an informant and take him out. It is a level four assignment…” Kalahari replied.

 

As the two finalized battle plans my thoughts wandered.

 

Why does everyone think the Akaedynkaar looks like a winky? I could sure use a nerve stick right now! Maybe I should stop like she asked me too….OH! Kalahari is hitting the acceleration gate! It’s show time! Yarr! I’ll give her a five count and hit the gate to follow her in! Five...four…three…two…one...gogogogo!

 

I punched the controls to activate the acceleration gate and the Akaedynkaar smoothly moved into alignment and started to accelerate.

 

Hey! I should have seen Kalahari zooming off in front of me already…

 

My eyes boggled as I took a quick look starboard. Kalahari’s ship had activated the gate but kept hitting Shemar’s ship and was having trouble navigating around. The Akaedynkaar suddenly jolted forward into warp.

 

“Noooooo!!” were the last words I remember hearing Kalahari scream over the comm channel.

 

Seconds later the Akaedynkaar exits warp.

 

We are being targeted by multiple hostiles.

 

Holy bat #^%$%! They are EVERYWHERE!

 

Dazzling flashes of light erupted around the Akaedynkaar as her shields worked to deflect incoming enemy fire.

 

Shields at 75%.

 

I was frozen in panic.

 

Shields at 50%.

 

Girl do SOMETHING! Where to go?! Where to go?! Aaaah! Auto pilot warp!!

 

Shields at 25%.

 

The Akaedynkaar’s engines came to life and she began to maneuver to align with a pre-selected warp destination.

 

Shields have failed.

 

I should have been a scientist like mom wanted!

 

Armor at 90%.

 

Come on baby you can do it!

 

Armor at 80%.

 

Activate armor repair unit!

 

Armor at 75%.

 

The Akaedynkaar finally completed her maneuvering and smoothly accelerated into warp.

 

That was so uncool…I need a nerve stick…

[Schot 407]

Haha! Out out out, just gotta get out! /oooo

 

So newb. So uncool. But yet so alive.