Best holiday prank yet.

[Gilberticus 374]

I have a friend who likes to tease me about my profession. How I got into gemology and gemologist appraiser is a whole different story. Anyway, on my doorstep this morning was this big green rock, with the note "it's an emerald, you're rich!" So I'm thinking "What in the world am I going to do with this thing? I don't have a garden, trash guy isn't going to be thrilled chucking this big ole 40 lb hunk of glass in the truck ( it turns out I wasn't far off on the weight, it's 50 lbs), and Mrs. Gilberticus is still mad that I moved her Nascar display so I could fit my gem display in the bedroom. So, I picked this thing up to figure out how I'm going to get ole Pete back, and I noticed it smelled like blood, big time. So, I called him up to ask him if he cut his little girlie hands on this glass and to tell him I was shocked that he didn't also spill his little Straw-Ber-Ita on it, and he told me it was left over at an auction, it was next to the owner's fireplace and no one wanted it. So I wash this thing off (I'm the boss of this little shanty, so I'm allowed to come in a little late now and then) and I notice conchoidal fractures on it. Conchoidal fractures tell me that it's something like flint, or quartzite. What ever this is has a pure silicate composition, so I do a few tests. Here, Ole Petey tried to prank me with a 50 lb hunk of obsidian. Which explains why it's a shade lighter than a Camel menthol box and smells like blood, the volcano that spit this out was in a iron-rich environment. Green obsidian does happen, but it's not the most common thing in the world.

 

So, some may be thinking "Dude, I'm not a geologist, words like obsidian and conchoidal are gibberish to me, what's this mean in normal human being lingo?" What it means is Pete tried to be cute by leaving what he thought was just a 50 lb hunk of junk, when in reality he gave me a hunk of lava that I can sell for no less than $75-80 per pound. It means he left me a $4 k Christmas present. I don't normally deal in obsidian. I bet I can call up a medical supply company. See, they're starting to make surgical instruments out of obsidian. Obsidian, when you smith it correctly, is sharper than surgical steel. Hmm, decisions. I could split the money with him, but he still owes me a lot of cash, plus he wouldn't have helped pay for it to be removed. I think I can be creative with this. Oh, I can't get a better picture, bc the Alienware no longer imports pictures from my Android, so I had to use the comp's camera

[SX255 630]

Cash it in; else it’s just a pretty green rock as before your discovery. You’d be doing the medical community a favor.

How come nobody figured out what it was for so long?

[Gilberticus 374]

You know, I'm not quite sure. Maybe it's because in my state, there's not a great demand to be able to identify obsidian, even in it's normal black color. This rock holds a few questions for me. Right now, I'm supposed to be sliding on my tux for a benefit dinner, but I can talk in greater detail later

[Gilberticus 374]

Even with my experience, it was difficult for me to identify this big ole hunk of green glass as obsidian. That sounds a little arrogant, so I'll cut you in on a little secret. I am the leading gemologist in this area. The reason why I never give my real name and location is because my store is not exactly unknown and my name carries a little bit of recognition in several fields. While it's awesome to be appreciated and recognized, all I want in this forum is to be Gilberticus, fellow Sacred 2 lover. But my point is if it was hard for me to identify this piece with a Long time in the biz, I don't expect people outside of the business to identify it. Why it wasn't spotted in the auction: we don't have many people like myself walking around these parts. On top of that, this was an estate auction: the owners of the house, land, and contents died, so the bank was selling it. When auction companies don't have documentation on gems, they sell as is. Which is part of the fun of auctions. That bright red stone the auctioneers found in the boy's bedroom could have been just a rock he found near the local pond, or it could be a ruby that was in the scepter of Dominar Rygel XVI (Farscape is my new favorite show).

 

So, to answer your question without a huge wall of text, the obsidian wasn't identified because the owner died, we don't have much experience in this part of the world with obsidian, it's not exactly easy to identify green obsidian, and we don't have enough ladies and gentlemen walking around with enough experience and instruments to be able to identify it.

Edited December 15, 2013 by Gilberticus

[Gilberticus 374]

And the saddest part of why it wasn't identified earlier is because Hollywood has attached negative stereotypes to a lot of gems. Such as:

This is smokey quartz, from Romania. It's black because of radiation, not because of trapped souls.

My daughter made this for me when she was 8. Not exactly even, but I've seen adults do worse,it's better than my first time. This is not the Loc-Nar, it doesn't transport you through space and time, it sits next to our bed, in memory of her.

And this: I broke a piece of the green obsidian last night, so I thought I'd turn accident into profit. It won't block or enable aliens from reading your thoughts, it's just obsidian.

And finally, I made this for our Indiana Jones fans. Well, I also wanted to show off, made this one this morning. When you look into it's eyes, all you think is "whoa, Gilberticus knows his craft a little bit"

 

[Gilberticus 374]

These are just gems, stones, and minerals, they don't enchant, they can't be enchanted, they don't increase the power of your Ouija board, and they're not a beacon for magical nymphs and fairies. That's the type of stuff that upsets me, because it creates biases against my favorite miracle of nature

[Ysne58 236]

You must be really embarrased by Scott Wolter of America Unearthed then. I know I am.

I saw another prank on youtube. Some friends of a man who keeps getting drunk and driving got together, rented an office, made it look and feel like a hospital room and then when he got drunk the next time, moved him into it and pretended he had been in an accident and in a coma for 10 years. These people really want their friend to change. I wasn't able to watch the whole thing, but I hope it has the intended impact.

[Gilberticus 374]

Lol, Scott Wolter. So, I guess we can just invent/fake our degrees now? You know, something about him didn't sit right with me from the moment I saw him. Yeah, I am embarrassed. There were also a few civilians not too long ago claiming to be spec op Marines, with all types of honors and medals. Now THAT really burns my butt. Why pretend to be something you're not? Frauds eventually get called out. Now, with my friend, maybe prank was the wrong word. I don't think he was really claiming that the obsidian was an emerald, he just wanted me to get excited when I saw the word "emerald", then be p.o.ed when I took it inside. However, I'm not sure because he won't talk to me at the moment. He's mad that I won't pay him a finder's fee.

Anyway, if we can fake degrees, status, and titles, then I want to be the lead gemologist of North America, and I want to have studied under Darth Vader.

Edited December 16, 2013 by Gilberticus

[SX255 630]

Hey, since we are on a rare topic, could you advice on a specific rare mineral property?

 

For a while I held the notion that Tourmaline can convert radiation into electricity. But going back to the original source book (printed in 2000) on "magic of stones" it stated that Tourmaline, when heated, becomes electrified.

 

So, by any chance, do you know any such mineral that can convert radiation, or its byproduct, into electricity? The cheaper - the better. I’m theoretically interested in making an "eternal" simple battery, where inserting a small radioactive material into this stone would generate small electrical charge.

[Gilberticus 374]

Aren't scientists already working on an eternal battery for cellphones? I think they're working on the eternal car battery, too. What I would look into is peizoelectricity. Crystals that could be used: amber, quartz, topaz, Potassium sodium tartrate (NOT sodium chloride, Rochelle salt is a lot different than table salt) and table sugar.

[Gilberticus 374]

Now, with what you were talking about, with radioactivity, I can't think of a semiconductor that's not going to break down on you

[SX255 630]

Yes, they are working on it… for decades and endless amounts of money. Every year we hear “new power source/method discovered” and nothing happens. In the end same old batteries, same old energy efficiency and power adapters. In fact, in some places the industry is going backwards, like selling cheap electric cars, but only renting out expensive car batteries to it. That’s why robotics is s*** - we don’t have a good enough mobile power source. So far I’m leaning to using electric eels.

 

But returning back to your answer. Why will semiconductors break down on me?

 

And table sugar. It’s cheap to get, but how can I get a spark out of it?

[Gilberticus 374]

I think you and I have different visions of how a eternal battery experiment could be conducted. Maybe it's been too long since I looked at gems and minerals as anything other than things I can carve and sell. So, I'm not quite sure of how you'd accomplish an eternal battery, sorry

[Flix 5,116]

These are just gems, stones, and minerals, they don't enchant, they can't be enchanted, they don't increase the power of your Ouija board, and they're not a beacon for magical nymphs and fairies. That's the type of stuff that upsets me, because it creates biases against my favorite miracle of nature

 

Nonsense. Obviously, if you carry that hunk around with you, you will find you have at least +50% poison resistance. Just go poke some rattlesnakes to test it.

[SX255 630]

Yeah, it does get really confusing when you get to the core of it. I got new links to follow up on when you mentioned "semiconductors break down from radiation" and "piezoelectricity and table sugar". Thank you for that.

[Gilberticus 374]

I'm sorry that I couldn't help more. If you have a time machine, I could ask me ten years ago, when I was first starting out. Back then, I was curious about everything, wanted to know how everything worked. I started out cutting gems by hand, and had a simple HO kit. Then I got machines, but was still inquisitive. How exactly does this machine cut my gems (the pictures above are done by hand, I needed practice). How and why does heating this yellow aquamarine turn it blue? And, then, through the years, I got lazy. I don't need to know HOW it works, as long as it does. And then I got too big to run this all by myself, so I trained everyone myself: from my cutters, buyers, salesmen, shipping, receiving, the floor boss, even my security( ole boy was a dead-eye, but his hand to hand was lacking a little). So, I want to thank YOU, because you helped me realize something; I need to get more active again, because this place can totally run without me, which means it wouldn't be hard to replace me. Right now, I'm sitting in my office, and my two projects have nothing to do with this business at all. One of them involves the game. I'm testing to see which suit I like best for my new d.w fist weapon S.W. Kanka's? Denderan's? Pandamonium? A combo? My second experiment is whether or not incense actually has calming properties, or if it's all psychosomatic. Hmm, maybe Mrs. Gilberticus and I will go on the next trip with the buyer. I can also hear my front room from here, maybe it'll be fun for me to stir up the crew by having the boss front and center

[Ysne58 236]

Placebo effect. It seems to have it's nosy self involved in everything.

[Gilberticus 374]

Today was great fun. Usually, I'm in the office or my weight room. This whole thing started because no one likes their boss always breathing down their neck. I try to treat them how I'd want to be treated, without being too much of their buddy. So, I was everywhere today, I even sparred with security. The sad, crappy part is I caught a few thefts, which really burns my backside. First of all, I can't stand thieves. I can honestly say I have never stolen anything. The second is my employees get more than just a discount, they can buy anything from the store at cost. I'm slightly bummed that I have to let a few people go, but I can't tolerate theft. Plus, I get to conduct interviews, which I love doing. It's funny how even the most insignificant-seeming action can have ripple effects, which is one reason why I absolutely love life. I have a friend who's good with disguises and make-up, I think I'm going to stage a few things next week to really see how this machine runs.

 

As far as placebo effect, it's fascinating how the mind works and can trick us. This might upset some, but the placebo effect is example of why I don't think we should be exploring much into space yet. We don't even understand the mysteries of our minds and planet yet, yet alone the mysteries of foreign minds and planets, we could be destroying golden opportunities. On the flip side, maybe by reaching to foreign minds and places, we can better understand our own. Lol, wow, you never know what you're going to get when you let me start my own topics

Edited December 17, 2013 by Gilberticus