etty quetty

[Bondbug 32]

After Carolyn's incredible efforts with eggs, which I for one have not yet completely mastered, I thought we might widen the subject of eating techniques.

Gogo may be contemplating a DM Cookbook. We could expand that a bit to include table manners - but not in the snooty old way. After Mrs Beaton, the DM Table Techniques Guide. What to do with the Upstairs Maid. That sort of thing..

 

Do you have artichokes over there? Paella? Both good for getting the hands involved. Oysters? Mussels.

How do you eat these ****** things? (that's a knife and fork there but who needs them)

 

I suspect Carolyn could make a 'coup de théatre' out of eating a single chip

Edited June 13, 2007 by Bondbug

[Carolyn Hacker 0]

I suspect Carolyn could make a 'coup de théatre' out of eating a single chip

 

lol, too true - I had a huge weight problem (yeah, bad pun intended ) when I was young, so since then when I do eat I try to maximize the enjoyment fully. Which, as I discovered, can extend far beyond taste, texture and presentation. Awww heck, ok you got me, I just like playing with my food!

 

Fortunately for my poor tired body that wants to sleep, I'm not a fan of Oysters, Mussels, or artichokes and I've never actually had Paella (but if I did, unless it was close family only and maybe even then, I'd probably only partake if everyone was using individual plates instead of a community platter).

 

Heh, maybe tomorrow I'll tell you all how to eat a Ho-Ho, Ding Dong, or Twinkie, then again there's always the classic question of "how do you eat a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup?"

 

@Staffers: The links aren't intended as advertising, rather since I found out you couldn't get Cap'n Crunch cereal in Australia realized that in an international community such as this people may not know what I'm talking about. I will of course understand completely if you choose to remove the links though

[Bondbug 32]

Right. Accepting that nothing will ever equal Carolyn’s fried eggs, and in keen anticipation of Ho-Ho, Ding Dong or Twinkie, let’s get the ball rolling. My personal list includes porridge, oysters, curry, mashed potatoes and perhaps chopsticks. But let’s start with long spaghetti.

 

What I like about long spaghetti is the impossibility of eating it in a tidy manner. There is I believe an acknowledged technique with a fork and desert spoon, which I have never mastered.

After close analysis and mature reflection, I have come to the conclusion that spaghetti can only be eaten one strand at a time. There seem to be three techniques for this.

 

You secure one end of the strand of spaghetti on the fork with a cunning twist of the wrist. Then:

 

Method 1. (Gravity Method) You raise the fork high above the head; lean the head back, locate the dangling end of the spaghetti worm into the mouth, and gently lower the fork until the spaghetti is all in the mouth.

Snags: a)The spaghetti has a tendency to slip off the fork or curl as it descends. It may drop down the cleavage, become inextricably tangled in the beard, blind you, curl up on the end of your nose – very difficult this last one b) You cannot keep an eye on others of your company and you are in a very vulnerable position c) You may choke d) Your neck may lock and need surgery.

 

Method 2 (The slurp) You place one end of the spaghetti in the mouth, withdraw the fork, and take in the full strand with one mighty suck or slurp, making as much noise as possible to show you enjoy it.

Snag: The whiplash effect of the rising spaghetti can cause all sorts of undesirable effects.

N.B.This method is only recommended for young children who think that the purpose of eating is to make as much mess as possible.

 

Method 3 (RECOMMENDED) This is an advanced technique and needs some practice but is highly recommended as clean and sensible and not too unsightly. Place one end of the spaghetti in the mouth, withdraw the fork.. Hold the spaghetti in place with the tongue. DO NOT on any account bite it or you will lose it. DO NOT slouch unbecomingly over the plate, do not push the head forward on the neck, but incline the head elegantly forward so that the spaghetti hangs about an inch in front of the chin. It is then a question of coordinating the action of lips and tongue so that the spaghetti is pulled smoothly up into the mouth before chewing it. The lip action is something like that of a horse. While holding the spaghetti with the tongue, extend the parted lips forward, gently grasp the spaghetti and with an action a bit like a tight-lipped smile (but not too tight) draw the spaghetti into the mouth. Secure it once again with the tongue and repeat the lips and tongue action until the strand of spaghetti is entirely drawn into the mouth. Beginners should manage to draw in about half an inch at a time, but with practice this will improve. You can practice the lip movements in quiet moments, lips open, forward (like a horse or fish), close, and draw back into a tight-lipped smile. Repeat at least ten times. Or you could do it to music, solo or in groups.

 

Excuse the literary style. I have been re-reading Jane Austen.

[myles 2]

I don't think you are a candy salesman Carolyn.

 

And you are right about these "international" brands as they advertised, quite a bit of them cannot be found anywhere but the U.S. Talk about false advertising.

 

Cap'n Cruch cereal! You are reading my mind Carolyn. I have been looking for it back home here, so far no luck. I don't think they sell it here either.

[Borg 0]

My friends have brought me Paella too but I am not that fond of it either. Since I am only 90 miles away from Cuba alot of my friends here are Cuban and cook it.