On the Couch with Funki

[Funkilicious 1]

Edit

Edited August 12, 2008 by Funkilicious

[erialc 2]

Ahh Funki!

 

Let me tell you all what a huge side aching laugh you are missing when you don't get to play with this amazing lady ..huuuuge laughs and an awesome player too!

 

Ahh Funki as I said this am I would have to ban myself if I tell mine here.

 

The one that online makes me LOL is when some asked me in game ASL?..my reply was ...' no I have dial up'...ahh loool How was I to know!

 

Ahh Funki your full kitchen disaster, sorry but my sides are killing me...we should have D.a.r.k gamers relief fund going for such emergencies!

 

[Silearth 6]

There are so many moments to choose from.....

 

I recall one time in school the restroom was packed, standing room only and even that was at a premium. I had a severe problem being in crowds back then so I was freaking out.

I hit all the stalls, one by one. To my surprise, the disabled stall was open. I quickly darted inside and closed the door, locking it.

I sat there for a moment with my head leaning against the door as a took a few deep breaths. I turned to find a very uncomfortable looking guy on the can.

Horrified, I got out and went to find another restroom.

[EvilMale 7]

Okay guess I should add mine. Well as most of you know I was in the Us Army Rangers, well this is my story that I have only told Family. And of course since I did it my whole company had a laugh about it at our holiday and long weekend safety briefing's. It was a boring Memorial day weekend in 2000 if I remember. And me and my ranger buddies were already getting pretty hammered. And me being the smart one decided to pull my rappelling gear out of my locker. so myself and about 4 other drunk G.I.'s decided to clime to the top of our barracks and set up.

 

Well little did we know that our Company Commander was still there and that his wife was going to enter the Company Area. So as I get into position to start my rapell Our CO's wife came pulling up and as I hit the front of the building I landed right on top of her. ( OOPS )

 

The only words out of her mouth were SGT. Hickman Get off of me Right NOW! next thing I know is that My C.O. came busting out of the front doors laughing hysterically. and after that I knew I was in hot water. For the next 4 hours he Ran me like a dog around base making sure I wouldn't do that again. I didn't do that again but my next stunt was twice as funny and well thats a different story.

[erialc 2]

:cha (18): Sil, Evil they are both hysterical! Thanks for sharing em...looking forward to reading some more!

 

I come from a looong line of wind-up merchants...and I mean they are truely evil!...me I was the middle kid and I always seemed to fall for absolutely every trick my sisters, brother, parents, cousins pulled, you get the picture...I was utterly gullable! (still am to a lesser degree) I think it's partly an Irish thing thats seen to be character building LOL I call it extracting the Urine! but I wouldn't have changed any of em for anything!...So anyways I am around 13 iirc and I was always getting into trouble at school (yes run by scary evil nuns) and I get this essay in history to write as homework. Now I had been bunking off and missed all the stuff I needed to construct this nightmare. Stupidly I ask my eldest sister to help me, she was after all called the 'burning bush' on account of being such a clever sod

 

'Roman Emporor's sis'....'will you help me?...I'll wash up for you all week and I won't tell you were smoking on the bus!' After some hard negotiations she agreed and set me all up with this long and funny tale about 'Lascivious The Roman Emporer' the cow! I wrote up this huge what I thought was a spanking essay, sure to get me out of chapel on friday, avoid getting the slipper and make my parents a little happier with me at school.

 

Hands it in.....waits a day or so...gets called to the Heads Office for a right royal rollocking! detention, letter home yada yada yada. 'Claire obviously hasn't paid any attention during the last few weeks in History ...' yak yak yak, gets home....gets parents yada yada...'but Mom, Lisa told me, how was I to know?'...Mom's response to laugh so hard she cried and to ground me

 

I'll leave off the time the same evil sister sent me to the butchers (we had saturday jobs in this other butchers) to ask if they had any spare mince hooks and liver stretchers! and yeah I really was stupid enough to go and ask...*sigh* looooool...see what I had to put up with! I can't wait to see my kids start to wind each other up like this!

[Katran 0]

Man this are some funny stories.

 

WARNNING: Do not react this story or you will have to go through some seriose pain.

 

Five years agp I was on vacation with my friends in Turkey. So after the long more then 24 hours bus ride we finaly got there and two of my friends and I chose to go to the beach at once even though it was around 12 when the sun is the strongest. Normaly I was ready for the sun[I put on a factr. 40 or something protective cream] even though my skin gets burned very fast. So we were at the beach had a nice swim and my friend went under the sun umbreala while I breavly stayed on the open with the factor 40 protective cream on. Around 14 O`Clock we went back to our Vila and when the rest of my friends so me they were in shock. They were saying how Red I was and that I must be sun burnd. Normaly I told them that they dont know what they are talking about that I have my fator 40 sun cream on and all the rest but whne I went in front of the mirror whele it was then that I got what they were saying. I was Reder then the redest tommato. I was all angry about how this cound happen and when I went to my room to put some after sun cream I saw the error of my ways. LOL

I Took the after sun cream from my bag and as I was opening the bottle I say that it sayed on it Sun Cream factor 40. You are getting where this is going. LOL I mixed up the sun creams and after sun cream. So On the very first day I went out on the hottest sun with zero protection. LOL

Normaly for the next 3-4 daysI was the main atraction with my deep red color wich really went with all my clothes. And in night times in the club, oh boy did I had a funny look with all the club light.LOL

 

Then only good thing after all the pain and 3-4 days of being with the funny red color I had a really nice bronze color.

[Funkilicious 1]

Hmmm still waiting on Schots tale of woes.... :cha (18):

[Arilaftia 0]

I do have one Ive been tossing around in my head here, Its one of the more embarrassing ones for me and happened on our honeymoon.

 

My husband and I went to an island campground on the ocean for a week, It was awesome.. Just tents and a campfire, with a small store on the island for ice and supplies (As well as freshly steamed lobsters when ever we wanted ) Well One morning I woke about 6am and before I even had my coffee, I grabbed my shower bag and towel and walked to the closest showers. Now there are just 3 shower buildings on the island as well as the restrooms. They are set up where you enter at the end: Men on the left and women on the right with a floor to ceiling dividing wall between the two.

 

Well the closest showers were closed at that time for morning cleaning, so I hiked to the next one. I went in on the right side, picked a shower stall, closed the curtain and took my shower. Now.. I can hear mens voices, this isnt too odd cause, well voices carry in the building. I proceeded to get dressed and go to the sinks. I took my time brushing my hair and teeth etc.. when to my horror.. men were coming in.. and coming out of the stalls next to me. I kinda grabbed my stuff and tried to look like I was ment to be there and walked out. I looked at the building entrances there and sure enough.. Big sign.. MEN. That was the only building that had the mens and womens sides reversed...

 

I really shouldn't do anything in the morning till Ive had my coffee!!

[Genenut 8]

Well I do have one story ... needless to say I was as red in the face during it as Funk was from the sun ...*lo*

My brother in law was getting married and my husband and my (then only) son were part of the wedding party. I helped each of them get thier flowers pinned on. After doing all of this we noticed that the lapel flowers were not all the same and some member of the wedding party needed to switch flowers.. So I walk up to my BIl's soon to be FIL and state that I needed to de-flower him for a moment .... not even thinking of the OTHER meaning to what I was saying... when it all clicked I really really wished the floor would open up right then and swallow me .... I then hastily retreated to the church to wait out my flaming cheeks....

[Schot 407]

Hahaha! OMG I was kidding Funki! I didn't think you were ACTUALLY going to make this?! Hahaha! Naaah, kidding. But wow. Who would have thought there would be a line up of stories to be told, lol. Looks like business is good Funki.

 

Hahaha! Diabolical cook, the restroom unrest, a rappelling crush, the naughty essay, Hot Hot Red Hot and The Intruder. rofl! Great stuff you guys! hahaha! Ah great fun. Well I guess I'll be going now...

 

I'll be back with mine. I'm a terrible story teller so I gotta write this one out first, haha.

[Funkilicious 1]

Hahaha! OMG I was kidding Funki! I didn't think you were ACTUALLY going to make this?! Hahaha! Naaah, kidding. But wow. Who would have thought there would be a line up of stories to be told, lol. Looks like business is good Funki.

 

Hahaha! Diabolical cook, the restroom unrest, a rappelling crush, the naughty essay, Hot Hot Red Hot and The Intruder. rofl! Great stuff you guys! hahaha! Ah great fun. Well I guess I'll be going now...

 

I'll be back with mine. I'm a terrible story teller so I gotta write this one out first, haha.

 

See the idea was borne from laughter and progressed even further....hope you are popping back sooooon Dear Schot

[EvilMale 7]

Ok I have another one to tell. Same type of scenario. A bunch of drunk G.I.'s. But this time it involves, a long hallway, A bunch of 50gal trash bags and Black plastic wrap. And 4 water hoses. My-self and my platoon had our self's the biggest slip and slide you could picture in a building. Well our platoon Sgt. happened to be staying at the barracks, well for reason you might get a divorce his fault ofc. But anyways we didn't know that he was there yet. And me being the brilliant one had the bright idea for the slip and slide so you can just imagine the trouble I got my self in this time.

 

Well all was fine and good for about 3 hours or so. until we woke up our platoon sgt. OOPS I had just started my run and plowed right into him. both of us had made it down the entire hallway which was about 50 in length. Guess you can figure out how bad I got smoked after that. This too was also never lived down and added to our long weekend and holiday safety briefings.

Edited August 2, 2007 by EvilMale

[Genenut 8]

So Evil, does your old command have a training manual filled with examples of things not to do .... "evils handbook of what not to do on or off base" Or do the co instructions start with a statement to read of your exploits and not repeat? *lol*

[EvilMale 7]

I think both but not for sure lol

[Schot 407]

Good god Genenut. De-flowering the Father in law eh. You sure don't waste any time!

 

Oh and Evil. Why do I have the feeling that you have a Hangar full of stories, haha. Awh heck. I'm just jealous of your water slide, lol.

 

 

Well ok. I guess I'm long overdue now but as fate would have it I have a fresh one for yah all. Only a few days old, hehe.

 

 

*Lies down on the couch*

 

It was your typical laugh intensive day on the Sacred servers. Silver I think... There was a handful of us there, usual suspects and all. erialc, evil, momgold/Genenut, myself, relik and maybe one other. The server was busy with much chatter of various inquiries, jokes and battle cries and after a bit of the trade window with Evil he toddled off to the local Bronze servers.

Well let me tell you insanity reigned supreme on our Silver server and much was discussed and laughed about. A player named relik had come onto the server at about the same time evil had left. relik asked for a bit of help to xfer/mule some things and seeing as I was on the island already I figured, why not. So I help him out and erialc noticing that this relik fellow has the burning feet icons is reminded that well... She wants them too! Haha. So begins the burning feet discussion and relik's eventual generosity of giving some icons to me in thanks for helping him. Naturally I gave them to Claire. Well duh! After making her beg for them first though, Mwahaha! Who do you love?!

 

Well things just kept connecting one to the next and say, ooooooh, about an hour or 2 later I decide to go to the merchants and buy a few things.

So I'm checking the wares at bmart and out of the corner of my eye I'm detecting that something isn't quite right. I turn my head towards the area where the amount of gold I have is displayed. Completely unaware that I've even detected something is amiss. I'm just sort of staring through the numbers... And then. It hit me like a mothers slap after saying your first swear word.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh Evil. You couldn't have known at that moment just how good your timing was, lol. Like I mentioned near the beginning of my story... "and after a bit of the trade window with Evil he toddled off to the local Bronze servers." Evil had passed 5 mil gold to me and I was supposed to meet him in Bronze to transfer that gold to a different char of his. Poor Evil had been waiting patiently in Bronze for more than an hour for my arrival. I'm sorry! Again! Forever! hahaha. I just got so caught up in all the nonsense that all ability to recollect was obliterated by laughter. Oh and thanx to gial for baling me out by being in the same Bronze server Evil was in and giving him lotsa gold. That's twice now the family has had to bale me out in the last little while, lol.

 

 

Oh boy I am definitely going to have Alzheimer's when I'm older...

[Guest FrostElfTwin]

This is kinda embaressing.

 

Over at Clan DA, we have Sacred events from time to time...

 

Play in HC, gathering of the clan...very like Kamikaze Sundays I guess.

 

Well... my specialty at these things is to show up with the appropriately leveled char... and have it die in minutes.

Or for sure by the end of the session.

 

I guess this is one reason I've not yet made it to a Kamikaze Sunday. (That, and I keep forgetting! Doh!)

[Genenut 8]

This is kinda embaressing.

 

Over at Clan DA, we have Sacred events from time to time...

 

Play in HC, gathering of the clan...very like Kamikaze Sundays I guess.

 

Well... my specialty at these things is to show up with the appropriately leveled char... and have it die in minutes.

Or for sure by the end of the session.

 

I guess this is one reason I've not yet made it to a Kamikaze Sunday. (That, and I keep forgetting! Doh!)

 

You can hide behind me, that is if I can get a character on the HC servers over level 49.... Only if I stay away from the frost giants. They have it out for me....

 

I expect I'm going to take a dirt bath either this weekend or next since they are both at levels I havent gotten a char to in a LONG time... *lol*

[Funkilicious 1]

Saw the bot checking out this thread and though time to revive it, any more embarrassing moments for anyone.... I am here for you

[Silearth 6]

How about some self-administered embarrassment?

 

My wife turned 34 on Saturday and the youth at church decided to have a bit of fun with her after services on Sunday. We were invited to a house where she was given the chance to choose between two presents. Depending on what she chose she would either have to sing in front of the group or dance.

 

Well she ended up having to sing but she did not want to--too embarrassed. They tried to get her to dance instead, someone suggesting a lap dance for her husband. She just wasn't in the mood.

 

I am usually quiet in front of her friends, but every so often something just turns on--or off. I once jumped up when the band was playing and belted out some Fray and Killers.

 

Well on this particular day, I performed a lap dance of my own for the wife and I believe I was holding a flower in my teeth....oh....and it is possible that the performance could show up on Youtube.....

[Funkilicious 1]

Well on this particular day, I performed a lap dance of my own for the wife and I believe I was holding a flower in my teeth....oh....and it is possible that the performance could show up on Youtube.....

 

Can't wait for you to post the linkie to that one Sil

[gogoblender 3,070]

Hey..I wanna see this link to... Sil don't you hold out you!

 

 

 

gogo

[Erling 3]

ok after school today when I was heading for the training center and I thought I buy a new sacred copy when I passed the mall, I know they were selling it a few weeks ago but the guy that worked there was like ''nah, that game is REALY old'' then I left the shop cursing a bit and while my mind wandred to smashing the one who decided to take out the game with something big I walked right into a wall, yeah some poster wall thingy made of thin metal plates and that ''CUNG!'' sound came when I smashed my head into hit and I fell on te floor, and this mall was very croweded yesh... so when I got my but back on the bus to continue to the gym my phone calls and I accidently turns on speaker and the whole bus is so lucky to hear my mom telling me I can't leave my room like that and have to put dirty clhotes to wash and not let them lie in a heap on the floor...

 

[gogoblender 3,070]

ok after school today when I was heading for the training center and I thought I buy a new sacred copy when I passed the mall, I know they were selling it a few weeks ago but the guy that worked there was like ''nah, that game is REALY old'' then I left the shop cursing a bit and while my mind wandred to smashing the one who decided to take out the game with something big I walked right into a wall, yeah some poster wall thingy made of thin metal plates and that ''CUNG!'' sound came when I smashed my head into hit and I fell on te floor, and this mall was very croweded yesh... so when I got my but back on the bus to continue to the gym my phone calls and I accidently turns on speaker and the whole bus is so lucky to hear my mom telling me I can't leave my room like that and have to put dirty clhotes to wash and not let them lie in a heap on the floor...

 

Awwww...

 

 

 

 

 

gogo